Parenting Triggers: How Parenthood Brings Up Past Trauma and Unexpected Emotions
Parenting triggers everything.
As a woman in her mid-30s, I entered parenthood feeling confident that I had it all figured out. I had a thriving career, financial stability, and I felt mentally prepared for this new chapter. After all, I’m a mental health professional with all the tools and education to support a well-adjusted pregnancy.
Or so I thought. My journey through perinatal depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) was a stark reminder that parenting has a way of uncovering layers of emotion I never anticipated.
Parenting Triggers Past Trauma and Vulnerability
The truth is, I experienced the death of a close family member at a young age. I thought I had processed this loss and moved past it, but becoming a parent rekindled feelings of vulnerability and fear I wasn’t prepared for. For those of us with past trauma—or even those who’ve simply had difficult experiences (haven’t we all?)—parenting can unexpectedly surface emotions and thoughts we thought were long buried.
Parenthood triggers everything.
Childhood memories resurface as we watch our kids grow. We see ourselves reflected in them, and it forces us to think about what was (and wasn’t) done for us. Some parents even grieve the childhoods they wished they had while trying to do things differently for their own kids. Having a baby can make you hyper-aware of life’s fragility and bring past traumas and pains to the forefront of your mind.
How Parenting Triggers Resurface Trauma and Fears
Parenthood forces us to confront both past trauma and fears about the future. Just the other night, my four-year-old asked me, “Mommy, are you going to die?” Though I expected the question someday, the wave of anxiety and fear it triggered took me by surprise. It was a stark reminder of how our children have a way of bringing unresolved emotions into the present.
But you know what? You’re not alone in this.
3 Ways to Manage Parenting Triggers
Through my personal journey and in working with clients, I’ve learned that effectively navigating these emotions requires three key elements:
Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present moment, instead of being overwhelmed by the past or future.
Understanding Triggers: Identifying and appreciating your parenting triggers is crucial. Treating the trauma behind these triggers allows you to break free from emotional patterns that no longer serve you.
Self-Compassion: Show yourself the same kindness you would offer a friend. Parenting is hard, and you deserve grace as you navigate it.
Healing and Growth Through Parenting
I encourage you to follow along with me as I continue to explore how parenting triggers emotional growth and healing. For today, remember this: If you’re reading this blog, you’re already doing an incredible job. Any parent who takes the time to examine their emotional reactions and work through them is setting a powerful example for their children.
Need more support? Feel free to reach out for a free consultation or explore additional resources that can help you manage parenting stress and trauma.
Yours in parenting,
Christie